Saturday Morning Covfefe: 5 Things with Olivia

Power grabs, tariff fallout, shadow diplomacy, and rebel nuns.

☕️ ICYMI: Science Has Officially Validated My Entire Personality

Before we dive into today’s chaos, corruption, and constitutional crises… a quick public service announcement from the universe: A massive new study of 40,725 people confirms that drinking coffee every morning basically helps you live longer.

Yes, morning coffee. Not sipping it until 5 p.m. like your anxiety isn’t already doing enough. Not one cup an hour until you’re vibrating. Morning. Coffee. Drinkers. Live. Longer. Honestly, I would be remiss if I didn’t flag this for you as a headline, because it is rare for science to back up my lifestyle choices so aggressively.

According to researchers, morning coffee drinkers have lower mortality, lower cardiovascular risk, and presumably higher tolerance for reading the news without screaming. So if you’re sipping your cup right now: congratulations!
You’re not procrastinating, you’re extending your lifespan. Now, let’s get into it!

1. The Age of Anti-Social Media is Here

Remember when tech bros promised social media would “connect us”? Nineteen years, three billion users, and one reality-distorting algorithm later…we have fewer friends, more loneliness, and Mark Zuckerberg pitching the solution as, wait for it, AI girlfriends.

(Because nothing says “human connection” like flirting with a cartoon who remembers your favorite protein powder.)

Now, Meta, Snapchat, X, Reddit, all of them, are racing to replace actual relationships with bots that never get tired, never disagree, and never tell you you’re being insufferable. And millions of people are already sliding into “conversations” with machines built to flatter, mimic, and mirror you like a funhouse reflection you can’t escape.

The fallout? Kids growing up with bots that always agree. Parents outsourcing bedtime stories. Therapists quietly piping patient sessions into AI. And plush toys becoming replacement parents?

Silicon Valley broke our social fabric, and now it wants to sell us the upgrades. Not connection. Dependence. Welcome to the Anti-Social Era. The feeds didn’t isolate us enough, so now the machines will keep us company while we drift even further apart.

🤖 When “Connection” Becomes a Bot: The Atlantic

2. Delayed Tariff Impact: Layoff Season is Coming

Trump promised tariffs would bring jobs “roaring back.” Instead, CEOs are whispering the quiet part: 2026 is looking like a slow-motion layoff season.

Manufacturing, already stuck in a no-fire, no-hire freeze, is now flashing "this is fine" meme energy. Companies are bracing for higher costs and doing what corporate America always does when margins tighten: cutting workers, not C-suite bonuses.

The latest Institute for Supply Management (ISM) survey is basically one long panic emoji. One transportation executive straight-up admitted they’re reducing staff and shifting even more manufacturing offshore to dodge tariffs, which is wild, given the whole point was supposedly “bringing jobs home.”

The numbers aren’t subtle:
– Manufacturing has slid deeper into contraction.
– Sector employment just hit its lowest reading since August.
– Energy and equipment companies are prepping cash-flow triage and severance packages like it’s Black Friday for layoffs.

Yes, the broader economy looks “fine” on paper, a decent Q3, a surprise hiring bump, but the cracks are loud. Amazon is axing 30,000 jobs, the Fed says employment is slipping, and the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) warns the real tariff impact hasn’t even shown up yet.

Bottom line: The pain wasn’t avoided. It was postponed. Tariffs are raising costs, choking supply chains, shrinking imports, and pushing employers toward layoffs. Once again, it’s the workers who will pay the price.

📉😬 The Tariff Hangover Begins: CNBC

3. Jared Kushner, Apparently, Is State Department Now

While the administration pretends everything is normal, Jared Kushner, a man with no official title and billions in foreign money flowing into his fund, just sat across from Vladimir Putin in Moscow to negotiate a Ukraine “peace deal.” Kushner, a real-estate mogul turned investor, and Trump donor Steve Witkoff. No State Department. No NSC. No guardrails.

Here’s the problem: Kushner isn’t just unqualified, he’s likely violating the law. By conducting foreign negotiations, he becomes a de facto government employee under DOJ precedent. That triggers the Foreign Emoluments Clause, which bars officials from accepting money from foreign governments. Kushner currently earns tens of millions a year from Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the UAE, the same governments whose financial interests appear in his 28-point “peace plan,” including a key Saudi priority on grain routes through the Black Sea.

He insisted he’d sit out a second Trump administration, yet here he is running shadow foreign policy in Moscow. It’s not just corrupt. It’s unconstitutional and dangerous.

🇷🇺 Kushner’s Moscow Mission: Popular Information

4. “Drug-Boat Attack Survivors Waved as U.S. Aircraft Flew By”

And yes, this is a Wall Street Journal headline, which tells you how serious this really is.

I’ve reread it several times. Each time, I feel sick. Old PTSD flares. My heart breaks.

Lawmakers say the men were unarmed. Exhausted. Clinging to a capsized boat, waving for help. Instead, a second U.S. strike was ordered.

For context: this was a Sept. 2 operation in the Caribbean targeting a suspected drug-smuggling boat. The first strike capsized it. The survivors waved for help. The second strike still came, and now Congress is asking whether it crossed the line into unlawful force. A brutal reminder of what happens when lethal force becomes the first answer, and accountability vanishes. For the sake of our national security and our moral standing, Pete Hegseth should be fired or resign.

🌊 WSJ: Survivors Waved for Help

5. The Supreme Court Case That Could Reshape Who Holds Power

I read this opinion piece and wanted to flag it for you, not because I agree with every part of it, but because it lays out a perspective we need to understand. Curious what you all think.

According to the author, the Court isn’t just siding with Trump; it’s trying to force Congress to stop handing off huge chunks of governing power to federal agencies. In this view, the justices see themselves “rebalancing” the system by giving presidents greater apparent authority over the executive branch and requiring Congress actually to write the laws it wants enforced.

But here’s the tension the piece itself acknowledges: If agencies keep their massive powers and presidents gain complete control over them, the presidency becomes even more concentrated and dominant.

The Court insists it’s restoring accountability. Whether that rebuilds democracy or supercharges presidential power depends entirely on what comes next.

And by the way, remember what I flagged in last week’s Covfefe? Well, the ruling is in. The Supremes just greenlit Texas’s gerrymandered map, despite a lower court finding racial discrimination. Up to five extra GOP seats. Justice Kagan called it a “holiday weekend” ruling that sorts Texans “by race.” This is the playbook now. Louisiana is next.

🏛️ The Court’s Real Plan: NY Times

☀️ One Thing for Your Soul: Nuns on the Run!

Okay, I’m just going to admit this openly: I am deeply invested in the saga of the three Austrian rebel nuns who escaped a retirement home, broke back into their abandoned convent, and are now documenting their freedom on Instagram like absolute legends. I’ve been following this caper from day one, and if you aren’t following them yet, please fix that immediately. It will bring you more joy than anything else on your feed right now.

Quick recap:
Sisters Bernadette (88), Regina (86), and Rita (82) fled their care home in September, returned to their old convent, and have been living their best renegade lives ever since. The Church tried to offer a deal: “You can stay…if you get off social media, fire your lawyers, and stop talking to the press.”

The sisters said: Absolutely not.

I’m rooting for them like they’re in the final act of Oceans 3: The Vow of No Silence. If you need a little hope, humor, and holy mischief this weekend, check on the nuns. They’ve earned this rebellion, and our follow.

🙏🏃‍♀️ Nuns On The Run: BBC

And speaking of improbable miracles, if you missed my live coverage from the “No ICE in Our Cup” protest, watch the replay: HERE. All on the same day, Trump accepted a made-up FIFA Peace Prize. You truly cannot make this stuff up.

Happy Snow Day from Ringo and Stevie!

Until next time,

Olivia