Saturday Covfefe: Just Another Week in 2026

Painting buildings. Subpoenaing critics. You know, the usual.

Grab a seat. We’ve got some dots to connect. Pour yourself a Café Bustelo horchata coffee over ice and enjoy while contemplating why the government is painting buildings, renaming cultural institutions, subpoenaing social media accounts, and expanding its footprint across the hemisphere.

Just another week in 2026. Let’s get started.

1. Paint It White, Fix Nothing

Newly obtained documents reveal the Trump administration is fast-tracking plans to paint the historic Eisenhower Executive Office Building, the granite landmark next to the White House that houses the Vice President’s office, the National Security Council, and other key government functions. I spent 2.5 years working there. Trust me, it’s beautiful as is.

The estimated cost? About $7.5 million.

Preservation experts have blasted the proposal, with one historic preservation office calling it "architectural vandalism of the highest order." More than 2,000 public comments were submitted, most opposing the project. But the paint isn’t really the story.

It’s about the underlying mindset.

At a time when Americans are worried about costs, housing, healthcare, national security, and the state of democracy itself, the White House is debating whether a perfectly functional historic building is the wrong shade of gray.

The administration calls it beautification. Critics, myself included, call it vanity. Either way, taxpayers may soon be funding a makeover nobody asked for.

🎨 The Great Whitewash (Bloomberg)

2. The Masculinity Police

For a movement that never stops talking about free speech, MAGA spends a remarkable amount of time policing what people say. This week, a Democratic National Committee staffer fired off a blunt insult aimed at Stephen Miller. Was it classy? No. Was it worthy of a full-blown online pile-on? Apparently.

Within hours, Katie Miller publicly identified the staffer, mocked her personal life, and helped unleash a wave of harassment. The episode quickly became about more than a tweet. It became another example of a movement obsessed with deciding who is a "real man," who is a "real woman," and who deserves public humiliation. The irony is hard to miss. The same crowd that built an entire brand around "mean tweets" suddenly discovered standards of civility when the insult was directed at one of its own.

But beneath the drama is something bigger: a politics where strength is measured by cruelty, disagreement is treated as weakness, and intimidation has become a strategy all its own.

💥 The MAGA Masculinity Test (The New Republic)

3. Watching the Watchers

The Department of Justice apparently has a new investigative priority: figuring out who’s criticizing ICE online.

Federal prosecutors have apparently subpoenaed the Reddit and X platforms seeking personal information, including names, addresses, and even banking records, associated with anonymous accounts that posted criticism of immigration enforcement operations. The government hasn’t publicly explained what crimes, if any, are being investigated. Attorneys representing the users say their clients have not been told why they are being targeted and argue the effort appears designed to identify anonymous critics rather than prosecute legitimate criminal conduct. That’s what makes this story so unsettling.

Democracy depends on citizens being able to criticize government power without fear of retaliation. Anonymous political speech isn’t some modern internet invention; it’s as old as the country itself. The Federalist Papers were published under a pseudonym for a reason.

If someone threatens violence, that’s one thing. If someone doxxes agents or commits a crime, investigate it. But if the government starts demanding personal information from social media platforms whenever citizens criticize federal policy, the message becomes clear: We know who you are.

Even if no charges are ever filed, that warning alone can be enough. The danger isn’t just surveillance. It’s self-censorship. Because when people start wondering whether a tweet, post, or comment could put them on a government list, many simply stop speaking at all.

🕵️ Anonymous No More? (Bloomberg Law)

4. The Monroe Doctrine Returns

Remember when I wrote about the Trump administration’s new National Security Strategy and warned about what I called the “Trump Corollary” to the Monroe Doctrine?

This week, we got another glimpse of what that looks like in practice.

Reports emerged that Guatemala was discussing expanded security cooperation with the United States against drug trafficking organizations. Guatemala quickly pushed back on suggesting it had authorized U.S. military strikes on its territory, emphasizing that any cooperation would remain under Guatemalan control and within existing agreements.

That denial matters. Because this story isn’t really about Guatemala. It’s about a broader strategy taking shape across the Western Hemisphere.

The Trump administration has increasingly framed Latin America as America’s primary security theater, tying together migration, cartels, organized crime, and China’s growing influence into a single justification for expanding U.S. power in the region. The language is partnership. The reality is a steadily growing military footprint, and Guatemala isn’t the only place this is showing up. From renewed pressure campaigns against Cuba to discussions about expanded security operations elsewhere in the region, the same strategic framework keeps appearing: a more muscular U.S. posture throughout Latin America, justified by security concerns but carrying significant implications for sovereignty.

I’ve sat through enough Situation Room meetings to recognize the pattern. Military power can disrupt networks. It cannot replace diplomacy, economic investment, or trust. The question isn’t whether the United States should remain engaged in the region. Of course it should. The question is whether Washington is building partnerships, or rebuilding spheres of influence.

🌎 The Guatemala Denial (AP News)

5. The Kennedy Center Is Not About You

On what would have been President Kennedy's 109th birthday, a federal judge delivered a blunt reminder: the Kennedy Center is named after John F. Kennedy, not Donald Trump.

The court blocked Trump’s effort to rebrand the institution as the "Trump-Kennedy Center" and halted plans to close it for two years for renovations. The judge ruled that federal law is clear: the center was established to honor President Kennedy and "President Kennedy alone."

This isn’t just a Washington spat; it’s part of something bigger.

Over the past year, we’ve watched a growing effort to reshape both public institutions and public spaces around a single individual. The Kennedy Center became the latest battleground, but hardly the only one. What happens next remains unclear. Trump responded by saying he’s backing away from the renovation effort, while Kennedy Center officials signaled they may continue fighting the ruling.

Either way, the damage has already been done. The artists who canceled. The musicians who walked away. The audiences who no longer feel welcome.

The Kennedy Center was never just a building. It was a symbol of American creativity, cultural exchange, and the idea that art belongs to everyone, regardless of politics. A judge can order a sign removed. A court can restore a name. Rebuilding trust is much harder.

🎭 Kennedy Wins (AP News)

❤️ One Thing For Your Soul:

In a refugee camp in Beirut, a group of girls and young women are learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu. But the lesson isn’t really about self-defense.

Their coach teaches them to keep their heads up. Make eye contact. Use their voices. Take up space. Believe they belong in the world. One young woman said that before the class, she couldn’t even scream for help. Her voice simply wouldn’t come out. Now she’s finding it. At the end of class, the coach told the girls to imagine the changes they wanted to see in their community. Then she said: “You know when you throw a stone into a pool of water and it creates ripples? We are the stones.”

A good reminder for all of us. Courage isn’t always public or dramatic. It can mean trusting yourself, speaking up, and believing you matter.

🪨 We Are the Stones (NPR)

One Last Thing...I saw Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in Washington, DC this week. When Bruce played American Land, it felt like a reminder of something that’s easy to forget these days. America wasn’t built by fear. It was built by people willing to risk everything for a chance at something better. That’s the story of us. 🇺🇸

I’ll have some updates on my end next week. I can’t wait to fill you in! Also, for paid subscribers, keep an eye out for an invite to ask questions in my first live Ask Me Anything!

Until next time,

Olivia